Saturday, February 27, 2010

Cabin Fever: Blizzmania 2.0 (part 3)

21. I woke up around 9:30 and tried to lull myself back to sleep by putting The Simpsons on in the background. I don't know what it is, but I need to have background noise in order to go to sleep at night. Am I afraid of silence? Probably. There are a lot of great things about living alone, but I hear one bump in the night and I automatically think someone's breaking in. Also, my bedroom window directly abuts the living room window of the building next door and the old couple that lives there is always speaking VERY LOUDLY. Really, I've woken up hearing their entire conversation and for a second, I think someone is in my bedroom.
22. It didn't work, so I got up and had macaroni and cheese for breakfast. Don't judge me.
23. I decide to do more research for work in an effort to avoid staying at the office until midnight this week. While I have a kitchen table and a desk in my bedroom, I want to be able to work while in front of the TV and the coffee table just isn't cutting it for the amount of research I need to do. This is book-referencing, highlighting, writing shit down on a legal pad and then typing it out type of work, so I need to be able to spread out. Solution? I move my kitchen table into my living room.
24. What a nice work station. I am a genius.
25. After about 3 hours of research, I'm getting antsy. Let's remember that I've not left my apartment or had personal contact with a human being in over 30 hours.
26. The sun is shining, and I decide that I need to go out.
27. My intention is to go to the grocery store to get food for the week, but I make a detour to the gym.
28. Elliptical for 30 minutes.
29. The grocery store is bedlam, and I wait in line for 20 minutes. The Hispanic lady in front of me tells me that she's waiting for her husband, but she can't find him. "I dunno why he didn't stay with me—now I'm in line, and he's somewhere with the cart? You wanna know why? Cuz men are STOOPID." I hear you, sister.
30. It's been awhile since I've actually carried my groceries home. I used to do it every week. I was like a fucking pack mule, but I've gotten spoiled with Fresh Direct. The problem? Fresh Direct and I are kind of in a fight since something has been missing, smashed, or rotten in the last 3 orders I've gotten from them. I ordered a six pack of beer that shattered. The glass punctured the six-pack of soda that was packed next to it, and all of this liquid soaked the toilet paper and paper towel that was also packed in the same box. MEGA FAIL. They refunded my entire order, but I'm protesting for awhile (read: until I need something heavy that I don't want to carry).
31. Of course, the problem with the grocery store is their sub par baked goods. The nice thing about living in a city? There are about 700 bakeries on my walk home. I stop at the bakery and pick up a baguette. I was planning on ordering Dominos tonight, but now I'm thinking that I'll make my world-famous goat cheese crostinis.
31. I put the groceries away and eat all of the calories I burned off at the gym with a bowl of coffee ice cream.

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Friday, February 26, 2010

Cabin Fever: Blizzmania 2.0 (part 2)

More news from the cabin:

16. I had to Macgyver dinner, since I don't have much of anything, besides beer and ginger ale. I made a portobello mushroom, roasted asparagus, and homemade salsa.

17. I decided to watch "Dear Zachary" again on Netflix Instant View, because apparently I wanted to sob hysterically for an hour and a half. Truly, I've never been so effected by a film before.
18. I know I'm only 3 beers in, but do you think drinking by yourself a sign of alcoholism? If so, I'm glad Abi and I did the research on my iPhone one night: AA is free!

19. Wii golf!!!

20. More Netflix Instant View, this time, "Serving in Silence" a lesbian-themed Lifetime movie starring Glenn Close about a lady in the miliary who is secretly gay. Not only am I confused why I am strangely attracted to Glenn Close, it's amusing because it stars a very young, very gap-toothed Ryan Reynolds as her son. Surprise! Mom's a lesbo! Also, I love that Judy Davis stars as her love interest, mainly because all I can picture her in is her star turn as Judy Garland in the straight-to-TV biopic, "Me and My Shadows: The Life of Judy Garland." Also, this is probably the gayest string of sentences I've ever written.

Cabin Fever: Blizzmania 2.0 (part 1)

Blizzmania 2.0 has hit New York City once again, and I haven't been outdoors in about 24 hours, and the combination of the snow and the fact that the trains in Brooklyn aren't running this weekend, I really don't have any intention of doing anything for the next few days but adding on hours to that number.

So, I decided to keep a running narrative of the things that I've done during this Snowed-In Weekend:

1. Wake up at 8:45am. I am working from home today, and I'm SERIOUS about that. I literally did work from home all day today.
2. First order of business, check on my boss's flight status. She's in Miami for business and trying to get home during Blizzmania 2.0.

3. Exchange multiple text messages with my boss and spend an hour on hold with American Airlines, only to be told that maybe she'll get out, maybe she won't.
4. The main reason I stayed home today was because after the ice from the last blizzard started to melt this weekend, my kitchen window started to leak buckets. My realty company told me they'd be sending a roofer this morning to check it out.
5. Call the roofer after he's 45 minutes late for our appointment. He says that the weather is too bad for him to come out. I get indignant, because this is the 700th day I've taken off since I've moved here so I can let various repairmen in to make half-assed repairs, only to have the same problem crop up again.

6. I try calling my realty company to complain, only to get a voicemail. Everyone's out for a snow day. Perfect.

7. On the up side, my Netflix arrived yesterday, so I can watch five episodes of Ally McBeal in a row.

8. I'm writing all of the editorial for one of our biggest guides, which, as I just realized yesterday, is supposed to be done one week from today. I spend the entire day researching restaurants, bars, and shops in Tribeca, Union Square, and the East Village.
9. Break in research for Wii Tennis.
10. Break continues for Wii Golf, which I have to say, I KILLLLLLL at.
11. Got assigned an article on Glee from my editor! Engage in a back-and-forth with their PR people to set up a roundtable interview with the cast. Oh, the possibilities!
12. Back to work. With The Simpsons playing in the background, of course.
13. Mac and cheese for lunch. I'm running low on provisions, but am holding out to order pizza tomorrow.
14. Should I include Momofoku in the guide? I'm sick of everyone kissing David Chang's ass.
15. Decide to watch Carrie on Netflix Instant View. Have never seen it, and it was pretty ridiculous and cringeworthy. I always feel a sense of accomplishment when I cross something off of my Netflix queue, which is the root of why I'm such a psychopath: I approach everything, even forms of entertainment like Netflix, like a job.

Stay tuned for more updates from the cabin.

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Monday, February 22, 2010


Side projects: everyone in New York City has them, presumably for three reasons:

A. Their job is not fulfilling them enough, and they seek to find satisfaction somewhere else in home-grown, grassroots, “Ima do this shit myself” kind of stuff.

B. Because their job doesn’t pay them enough, and they have to find a way to supplement their income that doesn’t involve a paper hat and a shirt with their name on it.

C. They are workaholics who need to have a million things going on at once because relaxing is not an option.

I, of course, am a conglomeration of all three of those things. I write and design every day at work, so I am allowed to be creative, but it’s in a controlled way. I’m writing and designing for the brand, not for myself.

I’m also lucky enough to make a decent amount of money freelancing for various magazines and websites, which supplements my salary.

The problem I have is that I’m always propelled by a need to move forward—I have so many things I want to do, and working full time and writing regularly for a few national magazines and a neighborhood blog isn’t enough.

And I don’t want to come off as a jerk, bitching about how “hard” it is to be creative, but I have to say that I’m finding it increasingly difficult to motivate myself to write. I’ve spoken with a few literary agents, and a couple of them have told me to send them my manuscript when it’s finished, and I just can’t bring myself to get around to doing it.

Lately, all I want to do when I come home is eat dinner and watch endless DVRed episodes of Intervention or Chopped.

I have a post-it note on my alarm clock that says “Just do it, asshole,” which has worked, for the most part, in terms of getting me to wake up at 6AM for an early morning work out, but you can’t force yourself to write, can you?

What I can force myself to do, apparently, is watch an entire season of the Golden Girls and blog about each episode (see forthcoming entry!).

I suck.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Finally, finally, FINALLY—the full five seasons of Ally McBeal have been released on DVD, and more importantly, on Netflix. When the show premiered in 1997, I instantly became obsessed with it, which was ridiculous, because I was 11 years old and this was a lawyer/courtroom dramedy that focused on themes such as unrequited love and life malaise.

But watching the show as an oddly mature 11 year old is different than watching it as a disillusioned 24-year-old. I used to watch the episodes over and over so much that now, as I'm rewatching them, I'm having creepy deja vu moments where I know every word of dialogue in several episodes.

I also relate to Ally's ennui, where nothing is right, and nothing is wrong, and the weird feelings that goes along with that.


"The truth is, I probably don't want to be too happy or content, because then what? I'm having a great time and I don't even know it."

"I know I've got it great, really. Good job, good friends, loving family, total freedom—what else could there be?"

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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I Choo-Choo-Choose You!

Gabe came up for Valentine's Day weekend, and of course, we couldn't keep the Simpsons references under wraps.

Let it suffice to say that "I choo-choo-choose you," and "Let's bee friends!" was said/shouted a million times.
Gabe even bought me a fake rose with a plastic bear attached to it while we were drinking 32oz. beers at Farrell's.

Now, if that isn't love, I don't know what is.

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Monday, February 15, 2010

FIPS Throwdowns

So, I started doing Food Throwdowns on Fucked in Park Slope. In the first edition, I tested guacamole from two different places: Barrio and Rancho Alegre.

Check it out here.

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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Thanks for Nothing, Mother Nature

Mother nature hates me. Like, really. HATES me.

Why? Because she always manages to fuck up my birthday in some way.

Oh, there I am—at my 8th birthday party. A roller rink party with no one there, because a snowstorm had rendered the roads undriveable.

I turned 24 yesterday, and while it was nice, what with the flowers, cakes, multiple breakfasts, expensive dinner, and internet well-wishes from friends, I was supposed to celebrate tonight with trivia, shots, and 7,000 beers.

That is, until Blizzmania 2010 descended on New York City. CANCELLED.

Thanks for nothing, Mother Nature.

Also, I didn't get today off of work, so I wrote
this about how you can create an in-office snow day.


Monday, February 08, 2010

My Favorite

Simple, yet incredibly thoughtful.

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