If I Don't Want to be Your Friend in Real Life I Don't Want to Be Your Friend on Facebook
There, I said it.
Honestly, this is the truth (save for my loyal blogger friends—xoxoxoxoxoxox!).
When Facebook started, it was only a few months into my freshman year of college, and while I was intrigued, I was still in my very high school, "I'm anti-everything and I really don't even know why" mode and boycotted it.
I couldn't see the draw.
Then it became a cultural phenomenon and I had to cave in and get it. But those were the good old days. Back when the scope of Facebook was limited. Now, I've got my creepy uncle on there and my 13-year-old cousins commenting on my photos. And I can handle that, because, hey, they're family.
But what I cannot deal with is people from high school friending me after five years of not speaking to each other. I mean, dear God, we were barely friends then, try adding half a decade of time in there and see how much I don't give a shit.
I guess it is pretty funny to see how much weight everyone has gained, how many children they have despite the fact that they're not even 25 yet, but I just find the whole thing weird.
For example, there was a girl who made fun of me all of the time in middle school. I had perfected the side part in my fabulous hairstyle, kept in place by sparkly butterfly clips and she told me that I looked like a man. This confused me, because, really, what kind of man wears butterfly clips? Also, I HATE YOU. I may or may not have cried in the girl's bathroom that day.
So imagine my surprise when she friends me on Facebook after I haven't seen her or even thought of her in over 5 years. Oh, maybe you forgot about all of the terrible things you did to me, but GUESS WHAT? I DIDN'T. But, thanks, honestly, because it's fun to see how you got knocked up two years ago and now you have a kid and you're working at a bar and living with your mom. COOL.
Moral of the story: STOP FRIENDING ME I HATE YOU ALL.
Labels: Bitter Bitching