Walking in a [Creepy] Wonderland
I think that I've mentioned the ridiculous Christmas decorations my mother has put up every year since I was born, and while I've always regarded many of them as creepy, it's only been recently that I've actually taken a good look at them and realized how genuinely frightening they are.
Exhibit A: 4 Ft. Tall Anamatronic dolls
We have two dolls, a boy and a girl. The boy looks like a Chucky clone and when plugged in, his arms move up and down like Frankenstein. He's supposed to be decorating a tree, I guess.
The girl is no better, as she looks like the small daughter of a member of the Russian mob. When she's plugged in, she sways slowly from side to side, as her long-lashed eyes open and close. What's worse is that the eyes don't open and close in sync, so she looks like she's having a seizure, all while rocking from side to side.
Exhibit B: 12 inch Caroler Dolls
Our entire stereo system in the living room is covered by these creepy caroler dolls, that according to my mother are "worth a fortune." All throughout my childhood, my mother has talked about what my brother and I will get when she dies, and apparently, these dolls are worth a lot of money. My brother, who keeps old McDonald's toys for their "sentimental value," claims that he will keep these dolls and display them proudly in his house. Surely, he'll have them put in his casket and be buried with them. On the other hand, I don't want these creepers in my house and will likely pawn them or sell them on eBay. Sorry, Mom. But seriously, these statues are unbelievably scary, and they look like either Munch's Screamer or a bunch of haggard homeless people getting ready to give someone a blow job. Am I wrong here?
Moral of the story: I can't wait until these awful decorations are packed away.