Tales from the Office Drones (pt. 1)
I tend to save emails, especially funny ones. The great thing about email as opposed to a blog is that I can be a lot more candid in email than on the blog because I'm paranoid that someone important is going to find my blog and I'll never get a job.
That's why I've never really written in detail about any of my internships. However, I was just going through some old emails from the summer of 2006, and some of these were just begging to be shared with the world.
Ohhh, the summer of 2006. We were 19 and my roommate Christine and I had just begun our first internships, I at a small regional magazine in Buffalo and she at a health resources publisher in New Jersey. We were so optimistic back then; bright eyed and bushy-tailed. Oh wait. No we weren't. We were actually even more sarcastic and cynical than we are now. Chalk it up to corporate training. Gotta at least be 10% PC.
The following are email chains between us from that time. I'd like to post more of these on a semi-regular basis, so be on the lookout for more.
May 14, 2006 9:32am
How's your summer going? Mine's great! Basically, I spend my days sitting in an office, at a computer, watching the best years of my life slip away by each tick of the minute hand on the clock. Don't worry, though. It's fine.
Actually, it's not all bad. I have my own office! Most of the time, I stare out the window and laugh at the drunks that are staggering by (it's kind of a bad neighborhood).
Today I literally have nothing to do and I was thinking about telling my editor that I had a gynecologist appointment and I had to leave early. Sure, I could say a dentist appointment, but I like to make things good and awkward.
How are you?
May 14, 2006 9:46am
Can you please not send me funny emails at work, cause its obvious that I’m not laughing at something work-related (healthcare grants, foundations, hospice news, women’s health professional, etc) and my cubicle only has one wall (aka I’m sitting in the middle of the room).
So I think I’m gonna start freelancing for this anorexia magazine I found. And I’m still trying to get a second job. I’m playing phone tag with some lady with a weird name at the bank, and I thought I should volunteer, because I told my mom I want to save the world instead of make money.
May 14, 2006 10:14am
So I laughed out loud when I pictured you sitting in the middle of the office, laughing at me. I think the lady in the cubicle next to me hates me because I'm loud. Even my typing is loud. I'm a furious typer. The lady in the cubicle next to me works on the "Forever Young" magazine which is a magazine for old people. You should work on that, it's right up your alley. They write about things like cancer and prostates.
You wanted to save the world? You're like that person who wants to be a doctor but faints at the sight of blood. Oh wait I wrote that joke and then I realize that you faint at the sight of nothing. Way to be, Panicky McGhee. (Hey, if that was insensitive, I apologize in advance)
NOTE: Christine is known to have a panic attack or two. I'm known to react rather insensitively to them.
Stay tuned for more from the office drones, circa 2006.
Labels: Tales from the Office Drones